After the last two episodes of Fast Times at China Buffet, both of which were old episodes pulled from the archives, we return with a brand new episode, recorded on January 12, 2009 at Taco Bell in Whitewater! In this episode, which clocks in at just under two hours in length, Matt, Bill, and Dave discuss the following:

• Bill’s hatred of Nickelback.
• To Catch a Netflix Thief. Hear it now from the author’s roommate!
• Matt’s research into solid investments: A residential soda dispensing gun.
• JEBMEDS and JEBMEDS 2.
• Fast Times at Luther Prep: Bill and Dave get stalked at a dance, the gang pretends to be a news crew on campus, and sunflower seeds become projectiles!
• Bill’s trip to Japan.
• People in Japan have no idea what Wisconsin is, much less where it is. Is it in between Illinois and Canada? Doesn’t matter…We should just say we’re from either one of those instead.
• Mindless Self Indulgence rules, Suicide City sucks.
• After Dark Films Horrorfest. Bill also talks about Bloodcar. That guy is so late to work!
• The guys scheme about opening a 4D porn theater! The episode reaches a high climax.
• Snakes on a Plane: How Hollywood Really Works. Bill and Dave quote almost the entire skit, albeit out of order and context.
• So, anyway…back to the 4D porn!
• Dave and Matt leave for a while, so Bill stalls and talks to the microphone.
• Did we mention 4D porn?

As you can probably imagine, this episode is quite dirty, so it’s definitely NSFW and also not suitable for children, but our discussion on how to properly adapt specific sex moves for the 4D experience would probably go right over their heads anyway. Enjoy!

Download This Episode

It’s another new old episode of Fast Times at China Buffet! This is a very special episode indeed, as David isn’t on this episode (a first in the history of this cast). Also, this was recorded back in June of 2006, right after Matt, Sara, Krische, and Bill’s last day of high school, so the cast does some reminiscing about their high school experience. As such, there are quite a few references to people from our school, which may not make much sense to people we didn’t go to school with, but it’s still a solid episode. Enjoy!

Download This Episode

Thought Fast Times at China Buffet was dead? Think again! Just because we haven’t posted anything new on the site/feed for almost two years doesn’t mean we podfaded…Anyway, in lieu of new episodes at the moment, here is a classic episode that has remained unreleased up until now. Billy’s friend Choutae joins us, and Brian turns into “Emo Brian,” whose sole mission on the cast seems to be trying to ruin everyone else’s good time while nursing a beer. Also, Choutae and Billy ruin the ending of Spiderman 3 (or do they?).

Download This Episode

We’re back…with an episode from 4 months ago! Yes, this was the last episode of “Fast Times at China Buffet” recorded with our entire cast…everyone besides David, who is now a senior in high school, went to college. Specifically - Bill went to UW-Whitewater, Brian went to Marquette, Sara went to UW-Milwaukee, Matt went to UW-Madison, and Jay went to MATC. I don’t remember what we talked about, because I didn’t edit the episode at all; it’s only 40 minutes in length anyways. We did talk about Snakes on a Plane though, because we went and saw it after recording this.

Download This Episode

Welcome to another episode of “Fast Times at China Buffet”! Yes, I know we said in the last episode that there was never going to be another episode, but that was only melodramtic lamenting of college and it’s impact on all of our schedules. Well, Bill, Matt, and David got together and recorded this episode at China Buffet while Bill and Matt were on winter break. We discuss things such as the After Dark Films Horrorfest, crazy college stories, Matt and Bill’s college careers thus far, Tivoli Island, Bill’s soda throne, and much, much more. It is approx. 1 hour and 20 minutes of raw, unedited goodness. Enjoy.

Download This Episode

We’re back…with an episode from two months ago! On this episode of Fast Times at China Buffet, we discuss cantonese, Jay’s exciting summer, and other such nonsense. A fairly random episode. Featuring Bill Kerr, David Klug, Jay Nunez, and Eric Hinkel.

Download This Episode

Back at long last! Sorry for being gone for so long. Yes, this episode was recorded over two months ago, but it’s still true to that classic Fast Times at China Buffet formula (or something). On this episode, we discuss Fast Times at China Buffet (yes, a little vanity), new photo cameras, and amid all the other topics Matt and David make fun of Sara yet again. Featuring Matthew Boelter, David Klug, and Sara Zoellick.

Download This Episode

A jam-packed episode of Fast Times at China Buffet! It’s also a reunion of sorts. This is comprised of two adventures at China Buffet, one with Brian Krische, David Klug, Billy Kerr, and Eric Hinkel where Bill discusses a party he went to and also gets a strange cell phone call during the show.

Download This Episode

This might be the worst episode thus far in Fast Times at China Buffet history. How bad? Well, the raw footage is an hour and was cut down to about 16 minutes. There was a lot of pauses and random bullshit talk that wasn’t interesting. On the plus side, it is only 16 minutes, so maybe it is worth listening to.

Download This Episode

An episode of Fast Times at China Buffet that can put the haters (all one of them so far) to shame! That’s right, on this very, very special episode, we actually have a decent and thought-provoking discussion. We discuss legal age limits, how terrorism affects the privacy of american citizens, and the mysteriousness of the smoking section…

Download This Episode